Family Repair · Private, customized, on Zoom
The conversation your family needs, and hasn't been able to have.
Family Repair is a private, customized process to support healing and repair in your family, guided by Rafa Kalapa, a CNVC Certified Trainer who has studied Nonviolent Communication since 1995 and trained primarily with its founder, Marshall Rosenberg.
There is no obligation after the consultation.
You can use this flyer to show other people and think it over.
If this sounds like your family
Many families carry a rift that feels too big, too old, or too tangled to talk about. Adult children and parents have stopped speaking. Siblings are divided by a conflict over an inheritance. Grandparents are cut off from their grandchildren. Some families want to heal and have no idea where to begin.
If you are the person who keeps hoping, and who lies awake wondering how to reach them, I know how heavy that can be. You are not alone in this, and asking for help is a wonderful place to begin!
What if your family could find its way back to each other? Family Repair can open a way back into the important conversations with the people who matter most.
What the work looks like
Every family is different, so I design each engagement around yours. All sessions are on Zoom.
Getting everyone on board. I talk with each person in your family one on one, listen with care, and answer their questions. Then we meet together so that each person can decide whether they are able to move forward with the work. Getting everyone to say yes is often the hardest part, so I give it the time it needs.
Doing the work. Healing-and-reconciliation role-plays prepare the people at the center of the conflict for guided conversations with each other. We usually hold the role-plays and the guided conversations within about 10 days of each other, because the effect of a role-play can fade over time. Role-plays can also happen separately, one-on-one, as needed. Then I bring the whole family together for one or more sessions toward the end, to integrate new ways of relating and look to the future, together. I remain available to you throughout the engagement.
How it unfolds
- Free consultation. A free one-hour conversation on Zoom to see whether this is the right time and the right fit.
- Intake phase. A paid phase of up to 60 days: a one-hour call with each person, then one call with everyone together.
- Role-plays and guided conversations. Healing-and-reconciliation role-plays prepare people for guided conversations between those at the center of the conflict. These sessions happen within about 10 days of each other. Role-plays can also happen separately, one-on-one, as needed.
- Whole-family sessions. One or more sessions to come together as a whole family, to integrate new ways of relating and look to the future, together.
If the timing is not right, we pause and come back when it is.
What helps the work go well
- A private space for each person to be on Zoom, uninterrupted, and able to speak freely.
- Flexibility around scheduling so that we can hold the role-plays and the guided conversations within a window of about 10 days from each other. Any time that is a challenge, we can find dates farther out.
- A willingness to be curious about the process, even if you are unsure.
You do not need everyone to agree before you call me. Many people begin by talking with me on their own.
About Rafa
I am Rafa Kalapa (also known as Alan Rafael Seid), a CNVC Certified Trainer since 2003. I have studied and practiced Nonviolent Communication (NVC) since 1995, and I trained primarily with its founder, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. I coach and advise leaders and Changemakers, and I teach NVC to people who facilitate and mediate conflict themselves. Most families I have worked with first met me in a training or heard about this work from someone who had.
I have helped families move from disconnection, alienation, and estrangement to clear communication, safety, trust, and intimacy.
How we begin
We begin with a free one-hour consultation on Zoom. I listen, I answer your questions, and we see together whether this is the right time and the right fit. There is no obligation after the consultation.
If we choose to move forward together, the next step is a paid intake phase, which we talk through in the consultation. Family Repair is a commitment for you and for me! There is no one-size-fits-all. The process is tailored to fit your family situation, and we talk through the investment in the consultation.
Read it, print it, share it with family members, or think it over.
Family Repair is a guided communication and mediation process. It is not therapy, medical care, or legal advice. I cannot promise a specific outcome because much of that depends on factors outside of my control, such as how members of the family show up to do the work.
If something in you is ready
The next step is a free one-hour conversation with me. We will see together whether this is the right time and the right fit for your family.
Warmly,
~Rafa
© Rafa Kalapa & Kalapa Wisdom School